Two years ago this very day… would I be good enough?

Two years ago this very day, March 7th 2013, I sat wide eyed in front of my 21-inch monitor and endlessly stared into the blank abyss of a Google doc file.

It was quiet this night in our home as my wife and almost 3-month old son slept the night away.

I had started on this document roughly one hour ago, and yet I still found myself blank as a winter blizzard storm across the fields of the midwest.

The clock read 11:04 pm.  Oh, why was I awake, you ask?

It had been a week since I had executed the details to establish Kickstart Commerce.

Business name, legal filings, website, bank and merchant accounts and more had all been taken care of.

What now? I was highly nervous. How would I find customers and get business?

I had launched my website using the default WordPress twenty-twelve theme. I know, very creative and artistic I am to have chosen it. 🙂

Nevertheless, I didn’t let not having a polished look and design as I do today (thanks to Marty Merida) to stop me from starting my journey.

I continued forth and created the necessary pages any business would have pertaining to services, about us, contact us and a home page that was written in such a way that customers would have no choice but to open their wallets (fearful thinking!).

All pages had content but one area of KickstartCommerce.com: the blog. And so I sat wondering to no end exactly about what I should write, and what potential customers would care to read.

The one answer that echoed in my mind the loudest was that I was going to have to consistently write, aka blog, about all the various topics I knew at that very moment in time: domain names, search engine optimization, marketing automation, and software and web development.

At that moment in time as I sat in quiet nervousness, the other thought that was on my mind was having enough content to rank in search engines, and for the content to flow and make sense to potential customers to either call or email to hire me (what I thought I really wanted the most!), or engage my soon to be blog with comments.

But what would be the inaugural post?

Would it be good enough?

Would I be good enough? 

And once again, I sat and stared blankly at an empty document with a blinking cursor challenging me to type into my future.

As much as I wanted to write earth shattering content, the real question I wanted and had to know more than anything in the world was the last question: would I be good enough?

It would be too easy to claim that I didn’t have topics to write about that night.

The truth be told, starting my own services company has not only been about serving and solving SEO issues and challenges for customers on a weekly basis, but this journey has also been a healing process for me to realize my worth.

So was or am I good enough?

Funny thing is, I’ve not thought about that question since that lonely night some 2 years ago.

I’ve had countless wins… like the time I received my first customer inquiry by phone and email… publishing my first ebook… leasing my first domain and website… having customers to refer more customers… even starting new businesses and websites, and on my way to residual and passive income lifestyle… but my personal favorite, putting the fear of not being good enough to rest for the last and final time.

So yes, I am and was good enough, but the reality is I was just that, if not more, before I ever launched this business or website.

My point is that I had allowed fear to hold me hostage into thinking that I was not something that God purposed and designed me to be from the very beginning.

I was purposed designed to serve, teach, and share with the world the tangible knowledge I know about domain names, search engine optimization, marketing automation, and software and web development.

But I allowed something as intangible as fear hold my tangible future hostage.

But that Thursday night in March, God allowed me to type my way out of fear, and I’ve been typing ever since.

Week after week, month after month, and year after year I continue to type, teach, share and serve the masses with tactics and techniques to help grow their business’ customer base and make more money.

Sometimes I receive comments that are good and bad, and sometimes I don’t hear a peep. Other times content is shared by the masses via social media, and other days only 1 or no shares at all.

But no matter what happens, I’ve always and will continue to be good enough. I’ll continue to create content, ebooks, videos, webinars and all things that can serve the very individuals God has called and purposed me to serve.

I may never meet some of the faces or know the names of those who sit throughout the world and glean knowledge from this website…

I may never become an overnight success or millionaire (although I’m quite hopeful I will)…

I may never win any big earth or industry shattering awards or rewards from the temporal place we all are passing through and call home for now…

whether I do or don’t, the journey itself continues to be well worth the effort for my own personal well-being… and that’s good enough for me! 😉

By the time I finished writing, proofreading, optimizing the content and clicked the post button, the clock read 11:24 pm.

I’m not sure what happened in that 20 minute time period, but I do know with great certainty that I beat fear with that first post and have been every post since.

And yes, I know this post is not about the ins and outs of domain names, search engine optimization, marketing automation and software and web development.

However, my hope is for this post to inspire someone or persons throughout the world to have the courage to lay their very own fear(s) to rest for the final time.

And why? Just as I found out…

You’ll be good enough, if not better… you always have been and always will be!

Cheers to two years and onward to many more years of turning dreams into reality!